Friday, December 28, 2012

Nightmare Before Christmas: Guest Cheffing at ING

Twas a few weeks before Christmas
And all through the city
People were filled with holiday spirit
Except for one little old bitty.

With friends scattered to the wind
Brandy felt lonely.
"What I need's a jet," she thought,
"A private one...if only."

"I'd love to join in with
All this Christmas cheer,
But Chicago's for the young,
As I've learned over the years.

"I can't go to the zoo,"
Brandy thought aloud,
"The lights are too bright
And the children too loud.

"I can't go to Kindlemart
Where the tourists all bunch.
Oh, if only I could convince
Homaro Cantu to serve brunch!"

She puzzled and puzzed,
'Till she remembered a post...
Had she seen it on Facebook,
Or perhaps a Twitter riposte?

"Need help in the kitchens?"
She tweeted ING one day
"I'm bored and I want to
Learn how to filet."

Miracle of miracles,
She got a reply!
"How's about Saturday?
Feel free to come by!"

And so to ING she did ride
To help them prepare
Their seasonal menu
Themed on Tim Burton's Nightmare

She was dressed to the nines
In her shabby-chef-chic best
And was given a white coat
To fit in with the rest.

They served her a staff meal
Home made earlier that day
She broke bread with the chefs
While chatting away.

Then off to the kitchen
To start up the prep
They built every dish
Step by detailed step.

She watched them braise octopus
For a dramatic first dish
With smoke, mushrooms, and bao bun
It was simply delish!

A fall flavored offering
Was plated up next
Three bits of sweet potato
With flavors complex.

Then came a skeletal hand
Which held some pork belly
"Well that's something you'd never see
At a butcher or deli!"

A beaker of soup topped with
Root vegetable chip
Made a warm, spicy mix
For Brandy to sip.

A crunchy frog's leg
And the meat of an ox
Wasn't her favorite
But was out of the box!

She helped peel the duck eggs
For a deviled delight
The first part of five holidays
Each distilled to one bite.

A sour snowman
Made of limes and some gin
Turned sweet with a miracle berry,
To make dessert free of sin!

A small fire was lit
With chestnuts and spices
To enhance bread pudding and ice cream
One of Brandy's favorite vices.

Death by chocolate was next
In the form of a casket
Gingerbread and mulberry
Were heaven in a hand basket.

Lastly more chocolate
But gelled with persimmons
All wrapped up like presents
With edible ribbons.

Let's not forget
The beverages served
Like hard cider with tea
Or mix your own eggnog (the nerve!)

By the end of the day
Poor Brandy was stuffed
But new friends had been made
And for her, that's enough.

And so back outside
To the let real chefs start service
(They were shockingly organized
And not at all nervous)
"At least if the world ends,"
She thought with a smile,
"I'll have had a nice dinner
That was certainly worthwhile."

And you too, dear reader
Can sample these treats
For just one more weekend,
So get out there and eat!

Ing Restaurant on Urbanspoon

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